7!

Today Ivan turns 7 years old!  What?  How did that happen?  (I think I say that every year, and I MEAN it every year too!!)  I still remember him when we first met him.  So tiny and precious and just utterly perfect.  He is still all of those things to me except tiny.  While he will never be the tallest in his class, he likely won't be the shortest either.  God will reveal that in His time.  He still has a smile that will melt anyones heart.  He laughs often and genuinely.  He plays hard and sleeps hard.  He feels deeply and thinks even deeper.  He astounds me with some of his questions, especially about the Trinity and the power of the Holy Spirit.  Thankfully the Holy Spirit has provided me with some good answers when I was completely boggled about how to answer a question.  He loves his cousin C about as much as any friend he has ever had.  They are like siblings - only better because they are only together a couple of days a week, so they don't argue as much.  He adores his dog Oliver (who looks nothing like that picture now that his adult coat has arrived) and they play often in the backyard.  He loves to put Oliver's food bowl down and cover it with his hands and say "This is MY food and you CAN eat it."  Then he uncovers the food and walks away.  Oliver thinks Ivan is the greatest human ever and loves to help wake him in the morning before school.

My kid rocks and I feel so blessed to have been chosen to be his Mom.  I think about his birth mom a lot around this time of year.  Wondering what she must be thinking and or feeling, knowing that I will never know or really understand.  I am certain that the day does not pass unnoticed.  You don't carry a life in your womb for 9 months then give birth and forget.  I know that much at least.  I pray for her to know that he is well and thriving and LOVED beyond belief.  I pray that she is comforted in the knowledge that he was adopted and not raised in the orphanage.

7, my goodness how fast you have arrived.  No longer a little boy, but a boy.  Before I know it you will be a preteen, and then a full fledged (shutter) teenager!  And then an adult.  11 years until legally you will be considered one anyway.  There are so many adventures to experience between now and then and so many after that time too.  I can't wait to watch them all unfold and walk them with you when that is the right thing to do.  I love you son, like I have never loved anything or anyone.  Keep being wonderful you, always.

Lord, I thank you for the precious gift that you bestowed on me and J.  Keep helping us to raise him as you would will it.  Keep him safe in your arms.  Amen.

Setting the Record Straight...

We were driving home from school this afternoon when God blessed me with a wonderful moment of ...validation, maybe?  I don't know the right word at the moment so that will have to do.  Anyway, Ivan, cousin C and I are slipping down the road towards home.  The two of them are always very chatty after carpool and usually it is nothing worth hearing, so I tune them out.  Today however, was different.

C says "W was the first child out of mommy's tummy and then you came out of your mommy's tummy..."  Ivan immediately interrupts her with "No.  That is not right. "  C says "Yes, it is.  W, then you and then me."  Ivan says again "No.  I did not come out of my mommy's tummy.  I came from another ladies tummy and then my mom and dad came and adopted me.  The other lady is still in Kazakhstan.  Punch buggy green!  No punch backs!!"

I don't know why this touched me so much, but it did.  J and I refer to her as his birth-mother not "the other lady".  He is 6 though and was trying to get his point across before he was interrupted, so I let it go.  It was validating perhaps because it shows me that he sees us as mom and dad not his "adopted mom and dad" and that he has absorbed at least some of what we have tried to share with him over the years about his "history".  I wanted to record this so that  when he is a nasty teenager and possibly throws that one out I can be reminded that at his core and in his heart we are just mommy and daddy.

 

I wonder what she is feeling today...

I am certain that there will never be a March 18th that passes without Ivan's birthmother thinking about her baby boy. She relinquished him at the maternity hospital in Ust-Kamenogorsk and never visited him while he was in the orphanage. I've always thought about her choice in a very positive way. I've always hoped that she relinquished her rights and never visited him so that he would be eligible for adoption that much sooner. She was young when she gave birth to Ivan and perhaps she had wisdom beyond her years. I've always wanted to believe that anyway. The truth is though, I don’t know. I don’t know if she relinquished her rights willingly or if a family member strongly encouraged her to do so.

There are so many things that I would like to know about who she is and how she came to make the decision about her baby boy. If I am wondering these things then I can only imagine how much more Ivan may want answers to these questions someday.

Anyway, I pray that she knows how loved he is and how grateful we are that she chose life.

Happy Third Birthday Ivan!