A few weeks ago Ivan and I had a play date with some former co-workers of mine. We were all sitting around watching the kids play and talking about this that and the other. J commented about how nice Ivan's teeth look (very straight and very pearly white). I started to say "Oh, I hope that he doesn't get my teeth because I had to have braces." Before I finished the thought, I realized how absurd that would sound considering that Ivan has none of my genetics! I laughed to myself and then confessed what I was thinking to the group. Everyone laughed as I explained what a wonderful moment this was for me.
When we first arrived home I felt like a fraud. Here I was with a 16 month old and most Mom's of a child this age have a clue as to what to expect from their child. I didn't. I had only known him for a month- how could I! Then there was the time this fall when Ivan was hugging his aunt L goodbye and I stood there looking at him and thought (for a split-second) "What a beautiful little boy, I wish he was mine". Then I smacked back to reality and realized HE IS MINE!
So, this innocent thought at our play group was a wonderful moment for me. It showed me that I no longer have to remind myself that Ivan is mine and this is real! I know it now, with every fiber of my being. He is my son and I am his Mom and no one or anything can change that.
Sigh...after so many years of waiting for the fulfillment of my prayers, he is here and I am so happy.
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