Alone

I sit here tonight in a completely empty house for the first time in almost 13 years of marriage. J and Ivan are at J's parent's house for the night. His parents live about 2 1/2 hours from us and I sent the boys there without me for once. It's been a wonderful, busy and somewhat stressful summer and I needed a little time to myself. Dad's surgery was tough and his hospital recovery was even tougher, but thank the good Lord he is home now and on the mend. He is getting stronger by the day. Ivan participated in swim team for the first time this summer, so many of my days were filled with swim practice and Tuesday evenings were full of the swim meets themselves. Not to mention two sessions of VBS (both execellant). Now the count-down to Kindergarten has begun. Just a little over two weeks until my little man is off to "big boy school". That, however, is for a different time.

Tonight I have enjoyed the silence, the selfish TV time and a good dinner from one of my favorite resturants (and my favorite pino griogio too!). Now, I am off to bed...alone. This is the part of the evening I have not been looking forward to. Not only is J not here to snuggle with but there will be no Sherman at the side of the bed to make me feel safe. When J used to travel for business and I spent many an evening alone, I always had Sherman with me. He would typically (in the old house) stay not under our bed as he usually did when J was home, but he would sleep in his chair that sat right by the front door. Therefore making me feel safe...since no one could get to me without encountering Sherman first. I know that God is in this house protecting me and in a way Sherman is too. However, it still feels a little weird as I am about to crawl into bed knowing that I am totally alone for the first time in my entire married life.