My family has always been blessed with good health, until Daddy's bout with pancreatitis. The whole ordeal of having a loved one so sick for so long is a totally new road for my family and it has proven to be eye opening in some ways.
My Mom is a very independent woman. She has had trouble allowing people to help her throughout this whole ordeal. She has shouldered far more on her own than I would like for her to have, but she won't share some of the duties with others and she never complains. My Mom is a rock...no news there, I've always known that. Usually, I would describe my Mom as an optimistic soul. She usually sees the bright side and doesn't go down pessimistic roads unless she has to. After about the second full week of Dad's illness though she has been less and less able to be her usual optimistic self. When the nurses and Dr's were trying to prepare her that Dad might not make it she lost some of her ability to "look on the bright side". Who could blame her. Here was her husband, best friend and buddy fighting the fight of his life and possibly not winning in the end. After Dad rallied a bit from that lowest time, Mom has had a very difficult time trusting that there would be a good outcome in the end. In fact, sometimes when she would start to hope again, something else would come along and knock her down. I only hope once this is all over (and I really hope to be able to say that soon) Mom will be able to trust that Dad is back with her. There will be changes, possibly dialysis for the rest of his life, certainly some lifestyle changes as far as how he eats, and their future will be effected. They had planned to have Mom retire in October and then the travelling would begin. Now, all of that is in question. Will Dad's health ever return to a level that they will feel comfortable travelling? Lord, I hope so as they have waited for this for so long.
My sister on the other hand has proven to be an eternal optimist. Always keeping her eye on when Dad would get better and not if he got better. C has only lost her hopeful spirit once during a very low weekend when the Dr's and nurses were hammering at us that they did not feel good about Dad's outcome. I honestly never knew my sister was such an optimist. She alone has believed with almost unwavering certainly that Dad would come back to us in the end. I really admire that about her, but know that it is not my way.
I have reaffirmed the knowledge that I had about myself throughout this whole thing. I go to the worst place first and work back from there. As long as I know he will come back to us, I can handle it. So the times that we were not sure that he would come back to us were utterly devastating for me. Had I not had the Lord and my wonderful husband to lean on, I don't think that I could have come out to see the light for a long, long time. That would have been a shame because I have such a bright light shinning here in my son.
My Mom and Ivan and his two cousins are also the light that has helped my Dad to fight and stay with us throughout this whole ordeal. Once he is back on his feet, I know that the one thing that he will insist does not change is his time with the grandkids. I can't wait to get back there.
There is one person who has sustained me throughout this whole ordeal; and while that support was not exactly eye opening, it has been one of the things that has kept me going. The love and total support that J has given to me throughout this time is unparallelled in my life. He has been there for me in every way imaginable. He has picked me up when I was on the floor with grief and worry, he has taken care of everything that I just couldn't handle including Ivan, cooking, cleaning and many other things. He has been my life support system throughout this time of trial and I don't know what I would have done without him. Every time that I dash out the door to the hospital he kisses me and says stay as long as you need or want to, we'll be fine. It is that complete and total freedom that has allowed me to be with my Dad as much as I felt I needed to be. J's motto throughout this whole time has been "this isn't forever, do what you need to do". I am so blessed to have such a wonderful man by my side for life. Thank you Lord for bringing him my way 14 years ago.
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Prayer Request...Update (4/13/08)
My Dad is sick. He has been in the ICU since Monday February 18, 2008. He is suffering from an acute attack of pancreatitis caused possibly by gallstones. It took until Friday (Feb 22) for us all to really understand how serious this is for Daddy. He was awake until Thursday and then they sedated him to help him not be so uncomfortable. He awoke a few times on Sunday while I was there and he squeezed my hand really tight while I looked him in the eye and told him how much I love him. I am anxiously awaiting the next time we can really communicate.
There are many things that could go wrong at this point and no one is sure what the outcome will be for Daddy. There is nothing that we can do for him at this point other than pray and that is what we are all doing. We have faith in the Lord and in the Dr.'s and nurses that God has placed in the ICU where Daddy is now.
Should you feel led to pray for my Daddy then I ask you to please pray for complete healing and restoration of my Dad's body.
From the bottom of my heart...thank you.
Charlotte
Update: My Dad is still in ICU and still very sick. We are seeing some slight signs of improvement, but nothing to indicate that we are in the clear at this time. With every positive there seem to be two negatives. The Dr's took some fluid from around his pancreas today and will be watching a culture for infection over the next 48 hours. We are praying that the culture will stay negative. The Dr's are not very confident that he can survive the surgery/recovery at this point. So again I ask for your prayers for a negative culture and that he continues to make some (however slight) forward progress. I want my Daddy (Ivan's Papa Wayne) back with us!
Update 2: The Dr.'s have decided, at this time, not to pull the fluid from around Dad's pancreas. They feel that the procedure itself could be dangerous for him. Also, there are no signs of infection at this time (thank you Lord) as his white blood cell count is within normal ranges and he does not have a fever. Now we would all like to see Daddy's kidney's and lungs start to work a little better on their own.
Update 3 (3/6/08): Last night my Mom called and told me that the Dr's at the hospital have decided to move my Dad to another hospital in our area (about 25 miles west). This hospital is supposed to have a team that is more experienced with severe cases of pancreatitis. We are still praying that surgery will not be necessary and that Daddy can pull through this and come back to us. My Mom is struggling and misses her husband tremendously. They have been married for 43 years as of last week.
Update 4 (3/10/08): Wow, it has been three weeks since Daddy went to the hospital for severe abdominal pain. Since then we (my Mom, sister and myself) have learned a lot about the human body and the digestive system in particular. They did another ct scan of Daddy's pancreas last night and said that it "looks like a bomb went off in there". Meaning that it is no wonder he is still so swollen inside. Also, praise the Lord there was no sign of infection in his pancreas at this time, so no one is talking about needing surgery right now. Dad has not been responding to us lately and we were beginning to fear that he may have had a stroke. However, the Dr's ran a brain ct scan last night as well and saw that his brain activity was normal. One Dr. told Mom this morning during her visit that when you are older (Daddy is 67) it can take longer to come out from the meds than a younger person and he has been "down" on the meds for a fairly long while now. So we are thanking the Lord that there were no signs of diminished brain activity and we hope to see Daddy coming out more as they lower the medication.
Update 5 (3/12/08): Yesterday afternoon my sister and I went over to visit with Dad. He is still not responding as well as the nurses and Dr's would like to simple commands (squeeze my hand etc). However, C and I received several spontaneous squeezes and a few (weak) smiles as we talked to him. He is clearly uncomfortable and that is tough to see. He moves around all the time and just can't seem to get settled. Today the Dr's are going to add a drain to the long list of things they are doing to help him get better. They will be placing a line in his abdomen (close to the pancreas) and it will hopefully help to reduce the amount of fluid that is in his abdomen. The other concern is that his white blood cells are climbing (slightly). They ordered cultures on everything again yesterday to see if there is any infection present...we are praying that they all come back negative and that he does not have any infections.
My mom just emailed her latest update with some great news: "The best news today is that he is off the ventilator for several hours (they are putting a lot of oxygen past his breathing tube) and he seems to be tolerating it well. The goal would be to wean him off the ventilator entirely if he can handle it." So thank you Lord for some positive news today!!
Update 6 (3/16/08): What a difference a week can make when the Lord is in charge! Daddy is off of the ventilator entirely now...they even removed it from his room. He is responding to yes/no questions with a shake or a nod of his head and he clearly is "with" us mentally. He is tired and the pain med that he is on exaggerates the effect. We are all so thrilled to see him with us again I just can't express how happy that makes all of us. We all know that we still have a long way to go until Dad comes home, but we are thinking more along the lines of when and not if...thanks to God. We are still praying that no infection enters his body and his pancreas in particular, but for now we are feeling very encouraged and grateful.
Update 7 (3/18/08): It was on February 18 that this whole ordeal started for my Dad and today March 18 (Ivan's 4th birthday) we received the news that, when a bed is available, Dad can leave the ICU!! Praise the Lord for this wonderful (big) step in the right direction. Daddy will be sent to what the Dr's and nurses refer to as a "step-down unit". It is not as "intense" as the ICU but not as "free" as the regular floors. Dad's pancreas is currently producing some insulin and they have taken him off of the insulin drip as of this morning. He is suffering from a slight case of pneumonia, but the Dr's have assured us that this is normal when coming off of the ventilator. May the good news keep on coming!
Update 8 (3/26/08): What a week it has been! Dad is now in the step down unit. He has been receiving limited Physical Therapy (PT) and they have had him sitting on the edge of the bed and even sitting in a recliner!! These steps are huge considering where we were a few weeks ago. He still has the breathing tube in, but they are planning to start to downsize the tube this week and if all goes well, it may be removed next week. We still have miles to go and some Dr's have even said that it may take up to a year for Dad to return to his pre-illness strength and stamina levels. We, however, are just praising God for keeping Daddy with us and slowly but surely restoring his health. God is so good!!
Update 9 (3/31/08): Daddy continues to improve every day. He now has a valve on the breathing tube that allows him to talk and he has been allowed to drink water on his own this weekend, which he is enjoying very much. They are doing a swallowing evaluation today, and we hope he will be allowed to go on whatever diet they think is appropriate. He is off all antibiotics at the moment, and our hope is that the trach tube can come out as long as the pneumonia is gone. He is still in the step-down unit, but they have talked of putting him in a regular room any day now. He has been sitting in a chair several times, and has taken a few steps with a lot of support. PT should be there today to start his more vigorous rehab. We are all continuing to stand amazed at God's grace in the healing of my Dad. I feel like there is a light at the end of this very long and dark tunnel.
Update 10 (4/01/08): Happy Birthday Dad and welcome to your new room! He was moved to a regular room today...what a great present! The Dr's are encouraged to see that Daddy can eat on his own (he needs a little help with cutting but that is all). He is back on real food and so far so good. There was a time that I was not certain we would be able to celebrate Dad's birthday this year. Thank you Lord for bringing him back to us!
Update 11 (4/10/08): Last night we had a bit of a scare. Daddy's Blood Pressure (BP) dropped dangerously low...like 60/30. Really, scary, low. Praise the Lord that all seems better today. The Dr's think that it may be due to dehydration as Daddy is really struggling with eating and drinking enough at this point. He can eat, but he is not at all interested in food or drink and it has become a bit of a battle between him and the rest of us. Dad was moved back to ICU in order to keep a closer (read constant) watch on his BP and heart rate. As of this morning they were fine and we are all please to see him perking up a bit. Lord, please continue to sustain him and give him more strength with each passing day.
Update 12 (4/13/08): My Dad's low BP has most likely resulted from an infection somewhere. We are still waiting to hear where and for his BP to remain above 90 without meds. I am frightened right now, and need the Lord's help to stop all of this worrying that I am doing. Lord, please help his body to restore itself and soon.
Thanks again for taking the time to pray for a stranger who desperately needs all he can get.
There are many things that could go wrong at this point and no one is sure what the outcome will be for Daddy. There is nothing that we can do for him at this point other than pray and that is what we are all doing. We have faith in the Lord and in the Dr.'s and nurses that God has placed in the ICU where Daddy is now.
Should you feel led to pray for my Daddy then I ask you to please pray for complete healing and restoration of my Dad's body.
From the bottom of my heart...thank you.
Charlotte
Update: My Dad is still in ICU and still very sick. We are seeing some slight signs of improvement, but nothing to indicate that we are in the clear at this time. With every positive there seem to be two negatives. The Dr's took some fluid from around his pancreas today and will be watching a culture for infection over the next 48 hours. We are praying that the culture will stay negative. The Dr's are not very confident that he can survive the surgery/recovery at this point. So again I ask for your prayers for a negative culture and that he continues to make some (however slight) forward progress. I want my Daddy (Ivan's Papa Wayne) back with us!
Update 2: The Dr.'s have decided, at this time, not to pull the fluid from around Dad's pancreas. They feel that the procedure itself could be dangerous for him. Also, there are no signs of infection at this time (thank you Lord) as his white blood cell count is within normal ranges and he does not have a fever. Now we would all like to see Daddy's kidney's and lungs start to work a little better on their own.
Update 3 (3/6/08): Last night my Mom called and told me that the Dr's at the hospital have decided to move my Dad to another hospital in our area (about 25 miles west). This hospital is supposed to have a team that is more experienced with severe cases of pancreatitis. We are still praying that surgery will not be necessary and that Daddy can pull through this and come back to us. My Mom is struggling and misses her husband tremendously. They have been married for 43 years as of last week.
Update 4 (3/10/08): Wow, it has been three weeks since Daddy went to the hospital for severe abdominal pain. Since then we (my Mom, sister and myself) have learned a lot about the human body and the digestive system in particular. They did another ct scan of Daddy's pancreas last night and said that it "looks like a bomb went off in there". Meaning that it is no wonder he is still so swollen inside. Also, praise the Lord there was no sign of infection in his pancreas at this time, so no one is talking about needing surgery right now. Dad has not been responding to us lately and we were beginning to fear that he may have had a stroke. However, the Dr's ran a brain ct scan last night as well and saw that his brain activity was normal. One Dr. told Mom this morning during her visit that when you are older (Daddy is 67) it can take longer to come out from the meds than a younger person and he has been "down" on the meds for a fairly long while now. So we are thanking the Lord that there were no signs of diminished brain activity and we hope to see Daddy coming out more as they lower the medication.
Update 5 (3/12/08): Yesterday afternoon my sister and I went over to visit with Dad. He is still not responding as well as the nurses and Dr's would like to simple commands (squeeze my hand etc). However, C and I received several spontaneous squeezes and a few (weak) smiles as we talked to him. He is clearly uncomfortable and that is tough to see. He moves around all the time and just can't seem to get settled. Today the Dr's are going to add a drain to the long list of things they are doing to help him get better. They will be placing a line in his abdomen (close to the pancreas) and it will hopefully help to reduce the amount of fluid that is in his abdomen. The other concern is that his white blood cells are climbing (slightly). They ordered cultures on everything again yesterday to see if there is any infection present...we are praying that they all come back negative and that he does not have any infections.
My mom just emailed her latest update with some great news: "The best news today is that he is off the ventilator for several hours (they are putting a lot of oxygen past his breathing tube) and he seems to be tolerating it well. The goal would be to wean him off the ventilator entirely if he can handle it." So thank you Lord for some positive news today!!
Update 6 (3/16/08): What a difference a week can make when the Lord is in charge! Daddy is off of the ventilator entirely now...they even removed it from his room. He is responding to yes/no questions with a shake or a nod of his head and he clearly is "with" us mentally. He is tired and the pain med that he is on exaggerates the effect. We are all so thrilled to see him with us again I just can't express how happy that makes all of us. We all know that we still have a long way to go until Dad comes home, but we are thinking more along the lines of when and not if...thanks to God. We are still praying that no infection enters his body and his pancreas in particular, but for now we are feeling very encouraged and grateful.
Update 7 (3/18/08): It was on February 18 that this whole ordeal started for my Dad and today March 18 (Ivan's 4th birthday) we received the news that, when a bed is available, Dad can leave the ICU!! Praise the Lord for this wonderful (big) step in the right direction. Daddy will be sent to what the Dr's and nurses refer to as a "step-down unit". It is not as "intense" as the ICU but not as "free" as the regular floors. Dad's pancreas is currently producing some insulin and they have taken him off of the insulin drip as of this morning. He is suffering from a slight case of pneumonia, but the Dr's have assured us that this is normal when coming off of the ventilator. May the good news keep on coming!
Update 8 (3/26/08): What a week it has been! Dad is now in the step down unit. He has been receiving limited Physical Therapy (PT) and they have had him sitting on the edge of the bed and even sitting in a recliner!! These steps are huge considering where we were a few weeks ago. He still has the breathing tube in, but they are planning to start to downsize the tube this week and if all goes well, it may be removed next week. We still have miles to go and some Dr's have even said that it may take up to a year for Dad to return to his pre-illness strength and stamina levels. We, however, are just praising God for keeping Daddy with us and slowly but surely restoring his health. God is so good!!
Update 9 (3/31/08): Daddy continues to improve every day. He now has a valve on the breathing tube that allows him to talk and he has been allowed to drink water on his own this weekend, which he is enjoying very much. They are doing a swallowing evaluation today, and we hope he will be allowed to go on whatever diet they think is appropriate. He is off all antibiotics at the moment, and our hope is that the trach tube can come out as long as the pneumonia is gone. He is still in the step-down unit, but they have talked of putting him in a regular room any day now. He has been sitting in a chair several times, and has taken a few steps with a lot of support. PT should be there today to start his more vigorous rehab. We are all continuing to stand amazed at God's grace in the healing of my Dad. I feel like there is a light at the end of this very long and dark tunnel.
Update 10 (4/01/08): Happy Birthday Dad and welcome to your new room! He was moved to a regular room today...what a great present! The Dr's are encouraged to see that Daddy can eat on his own (he needs a little help with cutting but that is all). He is back on real food and so far so good. There was a time that I was not certain we would be able to celebrate Dad's birthday this year. Thank you Lord for bringing him back to us!
Update 11 (4/10/08): Last night we had a bit of a scare. Daddy's Blood Pressure (BP) dropped dangerously low...like 60/30. Really, scary, low. Praise the Lord that all seems better today. The Dr's think that it may be due to dehydration as Daddy is really struggling with eating and drinking enough at this point. He can eat, but he is not at all interested in food or drink and it has become a bit of a battle between him and the rest of us. Dad was moved back to ICU in order to keep a closer (read constant) watch on his BP and heart rate. As of this morning they were fine and we are all please to see him perking up a bit. Lord, please continue to sustain him and give him more strength with each passing day.
Update 12 (4/13/08): My Dad's low BP has most likely resulted from an infection somewhere. We are still waiting to hear where and for his BP to remain above 90 without meds. I am frightened right now, and need the Lord's help to stop all of this worrying that I am doing. Lord, please help his body to restore itself and soon.
Thanks again for taking the time to pray for a stranger who desperately needs all he can get.
Thursday, February 14, 2008
My favorite time of the day...
is 7 AM or thereabout. That is the time of day when Ivan comes and climbs in bed with me and we snuggle for a few minutes before we get up and get on with our day. J leaves for work at about 6:15 in the morning - way before I am ready to get up unless I have to. Ivan usually wakes up about 7 and runs into our room and climbs in bed with me. When it is cold he pretends to "steal" my heat by tickling me and I in-turn "steal" it back by tickling him. It's those precious fifteen minutes that make my day.
Thursday, January 10, 2008
2 out of 2 "experts" agree: This was the BEST Christmas EVER!!
It was. There is no doubt about it. This was the first Christmas, since I became an adult, that I have been blessed enough to view through a child's eyes...my child's eyes! Ivan was full of wonder and joy the entire advent season, but his excitement Christmas Eve when we told him that the Baby Jesus was coming to his manger scene was just about the most touching thing that I have ever witnessed. The day that his manger scene was brought out Ivan was full of delight. He played with it almost non-stop. He really loves it. However, this year J and I decided that the Baby Jesus would not arrive until Christmas Eve night. On our way home from Nana and Papa Wayne's house J and I mentioned that someone special was waiting for him at home. He first guessed Sherman and then when we narrowed it down a bit for him. He then guessed the Baby Jesus. After he saw the baby Jesus in his manger scene he began to ask us when would the real Jesus come. What a tough question from a three-year-old! Every time we would light the white candle on the advent wreath at dinner, he would ask again about the real Jesus.
Then on Christmas morning Ivan was just a total delight to behold. He savored each present from the large to the small. He was truly excited about each one, but most of all his present to us.
It all started on Dec 11, the day of Ivan's Christmas Party at his preschool. I walked into the party and Ivan ran over to me. He immediately told me that he had something for me and Daddy. I was a little surprised and asked what it was. He ran to his book bag and grabbed the wrapped gift and card and handed them to me. I asked if this was for Christmas and he told me that it was. I thanked him but asked if Daddy and I could wait until Christmas morning to open it. He agreed and put it back into his book bag.
As soon as we got home that afternoon he placed his gift to us under the tree (sadly it sat there alone until the 23rd!!). Almost every day from that point on the following scenario would happen at least once a day until finally on Christmas morning, Ivan was able to give us his gift to us.
Ivan: When it be Christmas day Jesus' birthday?
Mom or Dad: XX number of days, honey.
Ivan would scurry into the living room and grab his present for us and return to where ever we were in the house.
Ivan: You open this Christmas mornin' time Jesus' birthday!!
Well, when the day finally arrived, J and I saved Ivan's gift to us for the end. I am so glad that we did because nothing and I mean nothing could have topped it!! He had made a reindeer out of his hand and foot prints. His hands were the antlers and his foot made up the head. They had pasted some googly eyes on there as well. It was and is adorable. I really didn't want to take it down Monday, but I did and it will no doubt bring new tears to my eyes next year.
He is so precious. I have been blessed beyond measure with him in my life.
Then on Christmas morning Ivan was just a total delight to behold. He savored each present from the large to the small. He was truly excited about each one, but most of all his present to us.
It all started on Dec 11, the day of Ivan's Christmas Party at his preschool. I walked into the party and Ivan ran over to me. He immediately told me that he had something for me and Daddy. I was a little surprised and asked what it was. He ran to his book bag and grabbed the wrapped gift and card and handed them to me. I asked if this was for Christmas and he told me that it was. I thanked him but asked if Daddy and I could wait until Christmas morning to open it. He agreed and put it back into his book bag.
As soon as we got home that afternoon he placed his gift to us under the tree (sadly it sat there alone until the 23rd!!). Almost every day from that point on the following scenario would happen at least once a day until finally on Christmas morning, Ivan was able to give us his gift to us.
Ivan: When it be Christmas day Jesus' birthday?
Mom or Dad: XX number of days, honey.
Ivan would scurry into the living room and grab his present for us and return to where ever we were in the house.
Ivan: You open this Christmas mornin' time Jesus' birthday!!
Well, when the day finally arrived, J and I saved Ivan's gift to us for the end. I am so glad that we did because nothing and I mean nothing could have topped it!! He had made a reindeer out of his hand and foot prints. His hands were the antlers and his foot made up the head. They had pasted some googly eyes on there as well. It was and is adorable. I really didn't want to take it down Monday, but I did and it will no doubt bring new tears to my eyes next year.
He is so precious. I have been blessed beyond measure with him in my life.
Sunday, December 09, 2007
Ivan's Baptism
Today Ivan was Baptized at our church. J and I officially joined on November 4, but we did not want to have Ivan baptized the day we joined because we wanted it to be special, and it was. He was so good, nervous, but good. Pastor Ben used more water than he intended too and J and Ivan got soaked...poor things. Ivan was too anxious to stand up at the baptismal font, and he refused to let Ben hold him, so Dad held him during the entire ceremony. Ben told us later that he realized a little too late how much water he had in his hands...splash.
J and I come from very different denominations and we were not sure what we wanted to do about Ivan's Baptism. However, once we found St. Mark's and decided to join, we knew that we wanted to have him baptised there. As with all things that God ordains, the time was right.
J and I come from very different denominations and we were not sure what we wanted to do about Ivan's Baptism. However, once we found St. Mark's and decided to join, we knew that we wanted to have him baptised there. As with all things that God ordains, the time was right.
Thursday, December 06, 2007
Best Friends BEST NEWS!!
Woo Hoo! My best friend S told me today that she is pregnant. I am so thrilled for her and her husband, C, I can hardly contain myself. She took her first hpt on Monday and another Tuesday night. She won't have her first appointment until January 10th when she will be roughly 9 weeks along. That is a long wait. For now, I am just praying that all goes well and that come August I get to meet this little miracle. God is SO good!!
**Edited to add: Today S had her first doctors appointment and all is well. Her due date is August 16, 2008. Yippee!!!!
**Edited to add: Today S had her first doctors appointment and all is well. Her due date is August 16, 2008. Yippee!!!!
Thursday, November 29, 2007
Out of the mouth of (my) babe...
Ivan's speech has improved a hundred fold over the past year. This mostly has to do with the wonderful speech therapists that he has worked with during that time as well as the fact that I talk his ear off.
I wanted to compile an ongoing list of some of his cute little sayings before they change or are lost to my memory. I know that I have already lost a great deal of them but here is a start in no particular order:
Da!
Who dat?
What doin'?
mater woop
pizza pie (pizza pie dip)
ketchup dip
Why?
Me like that.
Ha Ha (Ivan's name for Sherman)
Werman
Wermy
Caroline's Mom (this is what Ivan calls his aunt C)
The Best of Diesel (Mavis, Diesiel 10, Duck etc.)
Where puppy? (referring to his luvy blanket that looks like a little dog - he loves that blanket)
Tall poopy hurt my bottom (J's all time favorite)
Me have hard time (falling asleep)
That one of me favorites
I do it!
Where is?
Quiet, please.
I need privacy!
I have playdate with all those guys (meaning all of his cousins)
Let's go wooper fast!
Danul (refering to the neighbors cat - Daniel)
Praise God for what we need to...make people, our welcome food, our backyard, to love our neighbors as ourselves
I wanted to compile an ongoing list of some of his cute little sayings before they change or are lost to my memory. I know that I have already lost a great deal of them but here is a start in no particular order:
Da!
Who dat?
What doin'?
mater woop
pizza pie (pizza pie dip)
ketchup dip
Why?
Me like that.
Ha Ha (Ivan's name for Sherman)
Werman
Wermy
Caroline's Mom (this is what Ivan calls his aunt C)
The Best of Diesel (Mavis, Diesiel 10, Duck etc.)
Where puppy? (referring to his luvy blanket that looks like a little dog - he loves that blanket)
Tall poopy hurt my bottom (J's all time favorite)
Me have hard time (falling asleep)
That one of me favorites
I do it!
Where is?
Quiet, please.
I need privacy!
I have playdate with all those guys (meaning all of his cousins)
Let's go wooper fast!
Danul (refering to the neighbors cat - Daniel)
Praise God for what we need to...make people, our welcome food, our backyard, to love our neighbors as ourselves
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Who could say no to a request like that?
Ivan is presently in his room for his daily quiet time. I was just coming up the stairs from throwing in some laundry in the washing machine; I was planning to come in here and write a post about something altogether different. However, as I passed by Ivan's doorway he came running over and said with a huge smile on his face "I need hug! I need hug!" Who could resist that? I gave him a great big hug and told him that I love him and he smiled and ran back to play some more and said "Me love you too Mommy!"
Life is bliss.
Thank you Lord for my precious gift.
Life is bliss.
Thank you Lord for my precious gift.
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
My Oasis...
Ivan attends preschool on Tuesday and Thursday mornings. Some days when he is at preschool I have some much loved quiet time. My favorite thing to do during those precious moments is to sit at my kitchen table and look out the window into the backyard. There is a wonderful bird feeder there that was left by the previous owner. Watching the birds and just admiring God's creation has become one of the most treasured gifts of our new home. I love it here and I am so grateful that God led us to this particular home.
Monday, November 05, 2007
A morning in the park...
Today Ivan and I went to the park after his speech therapy session. It was a clear fall day with a hint of warmth in the air. Ivan walked around the brick edge holding my hand. Then he played with the stationary "digger" in the sand. Next he rode on all of the little bobbing animals, finally riding the seal with his feet thrown over the back so that his little legs formed a V and his body was pressed against the seat. There were many "LOOK Mommy!"(s) and I obliged every time exclaiming about how cool whatever he was doing was. Finally, Ivan made his way over to the swings (his favorite activity at the park). He climbed in and I started to push him. We swung in silence for a few minutes and then we started to sing our ABC's and count to 10. As I stood there singing with my beautiful boy, it hit me like a ton of bricks. It's moments like this that make being a stay at home mom one of the most wonderful blessings that God has graced me with.
Sunday, October 28, 2007
Home at Last...
Today my Grandmother went home. My "Mama Ruth", as we affectionately called her, has finally gone to the place where she will be made whole again...heaven. Mama Ruth was diagnosed with Alzheimer's almost 15 years ago and it has been a long and sad decline for her especially over the past ten years.
Edited to add: I miss her especially now as we approach the Holiday Season. One of her grandchildren described her as having the "gift of hospitality" and she did. Since her passing I have been trying very hard to embrace that gift, which is one I certainly lack. I worry about all of the wrong things when it comes to entertaining in my home. J and I are hosting Thanksgiving here this year and I hope that in doing so we can honor her life and gift.
Mama Ruth was a lifelong disciple of Jesus Christ and I have no doubts or concerns about who's feet she is now sitting at. She attended church every Sunday, gave to the church willingly and cheerfully, served on many committees and shared her faith openly by the way she lived her life. She was a great example of the type of disciple I want to be for my Lord.
I've never known a more gentle and loving soul and I doubt that I ever will again. She was the type of woman who apologized for saying "fiddle", knew every grandchild's favorite food and made certain that it was present at Christmas and Easter dinners. She always (and I mean always) put everyone before herself.
Edited to add: I miss her especially now as we approach the Holiday Season. One of her grandchildren described her as having the "gift of hospitality" and she did. Since her passing I have been trying very hard to embrace that gift, which is one I certainly lack. I worry about all of the wrong things when it comes to entertaining in my home. J and I are hosting Thanksgiving here this year and I hope that in doing so we can honor her life and gift.
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Why won't he sleep?
I have been through this several times now with Ivan, so why is it still so upsetting?
Ivan is still napping for an hour to an hour and half every day. I put him in his bed and tell him that he does not have to go to sleep, but that he needs to have some quiet time. He goes to sleep almost every day. At bedtime however, he stays awake until J and I go to bed and sometimes long after. Like last night for instance...he was wide awake at midnight. I finally went in there and yelled at him that he needed to be quiet and go to sleep. Not the way I really want to end our day. Then this morning he did not want to get up and it took me 10 minutes or more to get him out of bed. He had preschool this morning so it was imperative that he get up and get going in a timely manner.
He napped again this afternoon and I am planning on putting him to bed early because he is a basket-case from being so tired. I am at my wits end about this and I just don't know what to do to get him to sleep.
I will admit that there is a part of me that thinks getting rid of nap time is the answer but then there is a part of me that needs for him to nap, so that I get a midday break. Perhaps the answer is to give him a real quiet time and not do it in his bed. I'm just not quite sure how to make that happen. This parenting thing is tough and I just hope that I am on the right track.
Ivan is still napping for an hour to an hour and half every day. I put him in his bed and tell him that he does not have to go to sleep, but that he needs to have some quiet time. He goes to sleep almost every day. At bedtime however, he stays awake until J and I go to bed and sometimes long after. Like last night for instance...he was wide awake at midnight. I finally went in there and yelled at him that he needed to be quiet and go to sleep. Not the way I really want to end our day. Then this morning he did not want to get up and it took me 10 minutes or more to get him out of bed. He had preschool this morning so it was imperative that he get up and get going in a timely manner.
He napped again this afternoon and I am planning on putting him to bed early because he is a basket-case from being so tired. I am at my wits end about this and I just don't know what to do to get him to sleep.
I will admit that there is a part of me that thinks getting rid of nap time is the answer but then there is a part of me that needs for him to nap, so that I get a midday break. Perhaps the answer is to give him a real quiet time and not do it in his bed. I'm just not quite sure how to make that happen. This parenting thing is tough and I just hope that I am on the right track.
Tuesday, September 04, 2007
Another Milestone...
Today marks the first day of Ivan's academic career...may it be long and successful.
Ivan started Preschool today. J and I chose this particular school because of it's Christian focus and just the "feeling" that I had in my heart when we visited last February during sign-ups. It was between this school and another Christian Preschool here in the area. My sister sent my niece there for three years. Frankly, that is where I always thought that Ivan would go too. I liked what I saw when I visited both schools and I prayed very hard about what was the right school for Ivan before calling both schools and giving them the verdict. In the end I know that we made the right choice for Ivan.
This morning I took Ivan into his classroom and we located the special hook for his backpack. Then his teacher, Ms. Kris, came over and led him to a little table and got him interested in coloring his "self-portrait". I slipped out and only peeked through the glass pane in the door for a moment before heading out to my car alone. As soon as he was out my sight my eyes welled with tears and I had visions of me spending the next two plus hours in tears. Then I pulled it together and realized that this is one of those "this is what it is all about moments". You want your child to be comfortable and happy in a new setting and able to leave your side. Ultimately that is what parenting is all about, right? Raising these little souls to leave you and go out and flourish. So, I pulled it together and pulled out of the parking lot no longer sad that my little one has grown-up so much in such a short time, but thrilled that he is doing it so well.
I picked him up a few short hours later in the carpool line. As his assistant teacher, Ms. Kym buckled him in she said that Ivan had a fabulous day and that he was a real joy in class. What more could a nervous mom want to hear?
On the drive home Ivan and I discussed his day at preschool. The teachers provide a calendar of events for each day so that we parents will know what happened at school that day. We talked about the self portrait that he colored...apparently sans hair because he had no idea what color hair he had given himself. We discussed his snack (cheese cubes, pretzels and apple juice) and he told me about sliding down the slide and climbing up the ladder on the playground. He told me that they had music/chapel as well. All in all it sounded like a jam packed morning of fun and learning.
He is my precious gift from God and I am so grateful that he is mine.
Ivan started Preschool today. J and I chose this particular school because of it's Christian focus and just the "feeling" that I had in my heart when we visited last February during sign-ups. It was between this school and another Christian Preschool here in the area. My sister sent my niece there for three years. Frankly, that is where I always thought that Ivan would go too. I liked what I saw when I visited both schools and I prayed very hard about what was the right school for Ivan before calling both schools and giving them the verdict. In the end I know that we made the right choice for Ivan.
This morning I took Ivan into his classroom and we located the special hook for his backpack. Then his teacher, Ms. Kris, came over and led him to a little table and got him interested in coloring his "self-portrait". I slipped out and only peeked through the glass pane in the door for a moment before heading out to my car alone. As soon as he was out my sight my eyes welled with tears and I had visions of me spending the next two plus hours in tears. Then I pulled it together and realized that this is one of those "this is what it is all about moments". You want your child to be comfortable and happy in a new setting and able to leave your side. Ultimately that is what parenting is all about, right? Raising these little souls to leave you and go out and flourish. So, I pulled it together and pulled out of the parking lot no longer sad that my little one has grown-up so much in such a short time, but thrilled that he is doing it so well.
I picked him up a few short hours later in the carpool line. As his assistant teacher, Ms. Kym buckled him in she said that Ivan had a fabulous day and that he was a real joy in class. What more could a nervous mom want to hear?
On the drive home Ivan and I discussed his day at preschool. The teachers provide a calendar of events for each day so that we parents will know what happened at school that day. We talked about the self portrait that he colored...apparently sans hair because he had no idea what color hair he had given himself. We discussed his snack (cheese cubes, pretzels and apple juice) and he told me about sliding down the slide and climbing up the ladder on the playground. He told me that they had music/chapel as well. All in all it sounded like a jam packed morning of fun and learning.
He is my precious gift from God and I am so grateful that he is mine.
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
Knots in my stomach...
We've been potty training intensely for three and half days now. Ivan is doing great. Mom, however, is all tied up in knots. I never thought that the "wanting your child to succeed"stress would occur so early-on. I thought that this type of ulcer-causing stress came later when you watched them start High School or College or Med. School or whatever, but not potty training!
In short I am a mess.
This morning we had our first outing with big boy pants on. Ivan desperately needed a haircut and Liz (my stylist that cuts his hair too) was on vacation all last week so she squeezed us in this morning at 10:45. I thought of little else all day yesterday, trying to plan for success. When Ivan woke-up this morning he had his usual glass of milk (strawberry and chocolate please) and a yogurt bar for breakfast. The plan was to keep all other liquids away from him until we were safely home again. Well, we went to brush our teeth at 10 and before I even realized it Ivan was downing his "rinse water". It didn't even register with me that he was drinking until he was almost finished. The already existing knot in my stomach began to grow. Then the doubt crept in..."Should I put him in a diaper, should I put the rubber training pants on him, should I cancel the appointment all together?" Then sanity knocked on the door and I chilled out a little bit. I decided that the only way that he was ever going to learn what to do was to do it...so we had a potty time before we left the house and again when we got to Liz's. He produced results on both occasions much to my relief. When the haircut was over his pants were dry and all was well with the world.
But wait there's more!
Ivan really dislikes getting his haircut. He loves Liz, but doesn't like anyone messing with his hair (except Mom). Since I know that I would butcher it, he must suffer and sit in Liz's chair. Since he dislikes it so much he can make it rather difficult to cut. To avoid this I promised him a special surprise this morning if he sat still for Miss Liz. I had to pull that one out several times while we were there, but in the end it worked and Ivan got a great haircut. As Liz was snipping along she asked me what the surprise was. I was panicked. I hadn't thought of anything yet, I was flying by the seat of my pants on this one and now I was busted! I blurted out that we were going to McDonald's for lunch and a little play land time. What? What did I just say? As though I wasn't already sweating our outing enough I had extended it! Had I lost my mind? In short, yes I had. Unfortunately, Ivan was all ears and immediately started saying "McDonald's Mommy?" meaning "Are we going to cheeseburger heaven, Mommy?" What was I to do? I couldn't let my little one down. I had said it and so it was to be. Despite the knot in my stomach which was beginning to feel like a boulder, we drove to the house of cheeseburgers and had two more successful potty times. Ivan ate his lunch and played on the indoor play equipment for awhile, until Mom could take no more of it.
We drove straight home and as we did so I could feel the knot unraveling inside my stomach. A huge smile of relief crossed my face as we entered the house. Ivan had done it. He had gone out in big boy pants and had kept them clean and dry the entire time.
One knot creating incident down, 3 million to go!
In short I am a mess.
This morning we had our first outing with big boy pants on. Ivan desperately needed a haircut and Liz (my stylist that cuts his hair too) was on vacation all last week so she squeezed us in this morning at 10:45. I thought of little else all day yesterday, trying to plan for success. When Ivan woke-up this morning he had his usual glass of milk (strawberry and chocolate please) and a yogurt bar for breakfast. The plan was to keep all other liquids away from him until we were safely home again. Well, we went to brush our teeth at 10 and before I even realized it Ivan was downing his "rinse water". It didn't even register with me that he was drinking until he was almost finished. The already existing knot in my stomach began to grow. Then the doubt crept in..."Should I put him in a diaper, should I put the rubber training pants on him, should I cancel the appointment all together?" Then sanity knocked on the door and I chilled out a little bit. I decided that the only way that he was ever going to learn what to do was to do it...so we had a potty time before we left the house and again when we got to Liz's. He produced results on both occasions much to my relief. When the haircut was over his pants were dry and all was well with the world.
But wait there's more!
Ivan really dislikes getting his haircut. He loves Liz, but doesn't like anyone messing with his hair (except Mom). Since I know that I would butcher it, he must suffer and sit in Liz's chair. Since he dislikes it so much he can make it rather difficult to cut. To avoid this I promised him a special surprise this morning if he sat still for Miss Liz. I had to pull that one out several times while we were there, but in the end it worked and Ivan got a great haircut. As Liz was snipping along she asked me what the surprise was. I was panicked. I hadn't thought of anything yet, I was flying by the seat of my pants on this one and now I was busted! I blurted out that we were going to McDonald's for lunch and a little play land time. What? What did I just say? As though I wasn't already sweating our outing enough I had extended it! Had I lost my mind? In short, yes I had. Unfortunately, Ivan was all ears and immediately started saying "McDonald's Mommy?" meaning "Are we going to cheeseburger heaven, Mommy?" What was I to do? I couldn't let my little one down. I had said it and so it was to be. Despite the knot in my stomach which was beginning to feel like a boulder, we drove to the house of cheeseburgers and had two more successful potty times. Ivan ate his lunch and played on the indoor play equipment for awhile, until Mom could take no more of it.
We drove straight home and as we did so I could feel the knot unraveling inside my stomach. A huge smile of relief crossed my face as we entered the house. Ivan had done it. He had gone out in big boy pants and had kept them clean and dry the entire time.
One knot creating incident down, 3 million to go!
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
It Feels Like Home...
Before we moved to our new home my sister shared a warning with me. She advised me not to be surprised if the new house did not feel like home for a while. She admitted that it took her almost two years to really consider their new house their home. She said that with your fist house it is just that, your first house. It takes little to no time to consider it your own. However, the second house seems to take awhile to "break-in". I appreciated the advice and really started to prepare myself for that feeling of I live here, but it isn't home yet.
I am thrilled to say though that nothing could be further from the truth for me! This house has felt like home from the day we moved in...literally It is remarkable but both J and I feel this way about the house. There is work to be done but it just feels right. That is not to say that our old house did not feel like home, it did...but it was J and C's home, not the house we plan to raise Ivan (and maybe some day another one) in.
I am attributing this instant comfort to the fact that this was the house that God had set aside for us all along. Despite my insistence (at the time) that the other house we bid on first was the right house. J was never as comfortable with the other house, but I was CERTAIN that it was the one for us. In truth, I was seduced by all of the wrong things and God knew it and spared us from making that mistake. He hardened the hearts of the seller's to our offers because He knew where we were supposed to be...I just wouldn't listen.
Thank you Lord for sparing me from my own short-sightedness. Thank you Lord for putting us right where we need to be.
I am thrilled to say though that nothing could be further from the truth for me! This house has felt like home from the day we moved in...literally It is remarkable but both J and I feel this way about the house. There is work to be done but it just feels right. That is not to say that our old house did not feel like home, it did...but it was J and C's home, not the house we plan to raise Ivan (and maybe some day another one) in.
I am attributing this instant comfort to the fact that this was the house that God had set aside for us all along. Despite my insistence (at the time) that the other house we bid on first was the right house. J was never as comfortable with the other house, but I was CERTAIN that it was the one for us. In truth, I was seduced by all of the wrong things and God knew it and spared us from making that mistake. He hardened the hearts of the seller's to our offers because He knew where we were supposed to be...I just wouldn't listen.
Thank you Lord for sparing me from my own short-sightedness. Thank you Lord for putting us right where we need to be.
Talking on the phone...
Yet another sign pointing to how quickly Ivan is growing-up before my very eyes.
Ivan has long enjoyed listening to others talk to him on the phone. He would, on occasion, use his play phone to call someone, usually Nana. However, when he was on the phone he would rarely interact with the person on the other end of the phone. Over the past several months he has enjoyed calling his Daddy at work and saying on cue "Hey Daddy!" but that was about all he would say while J talked to him and engaged him in "conversation". All of that has dramatically changed recently.
Now, Ivan calls lots of people on his phone and yaks at them. When someone wants to talk to him on the real phone he answers their questions to the best of his ability and even closes with "Bye, Bye." at the end of the conversation. I experienced this first hand the other day and it was so wonderful. Our conversation went something like this:
Mom: Hi Ivan.
Ivan: Hey Mommy.
M: What are you doing at P W's?
I: Wholey Polly. (He was is search of more Roley Polly Bugs)
M: Are you having fun?
I: Uh-huh.
M: I love you, Ivan.
I: I love you, Mommy.
M: Bye, Bye Ivan. I'll see you soon.
I: Bye, Bye Mommy.
And with that he handed the phone back to my Dad. That was my first real phone "conversation" with Ivan. It's going by at lightening speed.
Ivan has long enjoyed listening to others talk to him on the phone. He would, on occasion, use his play phone to call someone, usually Nana. However, when he was on the phone he would rarely interact with the person on the other end of the phone. Over the past several months he has enjoyed calling his Daddy at work and saying on cue "Hey Daddy!" but that was about all he would say while J talked to him and engaged him in "conversation". All of that has dramatically changed recently.
Now, Ivan calls lots of people on his phone and yaks at them. When someone wants to talk to him on the real phone he answers their questions to the best of his ability and even closes with "Bye, Bye." at the end of the conversation. I experienced this first hand the other day and it was so wonderful. Our conversation went something like this:
Mom: Hi Ivan.
Ivan: Hey Mommy.
M: What are you doing at P W's?
I: Wholey Polly. (He was is search of more Roley Polly Bugs)
M: Are you having fun?
I: Uh-huh.
M: I love you, Ivan.
I: I love you, Mommy.
M: Bye, Bye Ivan. I'll see you soon.
I: Bye, Bye Mommy.
And with that he handed the phone back to my Dad. That was my first real phone "conversation" with Ivan. It's going by at lightening speed.
Monday, July 09, 2007
Driving around in my automobile...
I know that some people really dislike the carts at the grocery store with the little car in the front (there are no TV's in them where we shop - thank goodness) but I think that they are kind of cute. I have offered a ride in one to Ivan on a few different occasions and have always been met with a "No, please." He says please instead of thank you - we're working on that one but I feel that a misplaced please is better than none at all. Anyway, today we were at our local warehouse club when Ivan spotted a cart with a car on the front waiting in the cart coral. He dove into the little car and immediately buckled himself into the seat. He was thoroughly delighted throughout our shopping trip with his new seat and I was just as delighted to watch him "steer" the cart and honk the horn (sometimes both horns) from the back of the cart.
As I sit here writing this it is hitting me...he is growing-up so fast. The last time that I offered for him to sit in the car cart he said "No, please. Up, please". He wanted to be where he could see and interact with me. We do a lot of talking while we shop. I'm a talker what can I say? He is more secure now and really starting to embrace his Independence more and more. That's not to say that we didn't interact during our shopping trip, we did. However, it was limited and usually consisted of Ivan a) making sure I was still there and b) the two of us talking about his "driving" of the cart.
It's going by so fast and I love him so much.
As I sit here writing this it is hitting me...he is growing-up so fast. The last time that I offered for him to sit in the car cart he said "No, please. Up, please". He wanted to be where he could see and interact with me. We do a lot of talking while we shop. I'm a talker what can I say? He is more secure now and really starting to embrace his Independence more and more. That's not to say that we didn't interact during our shopping trip, we did. However, it was limited and usually consisted of Ivan a) making sure I was still there and b) the two of us talking about his "driving" of the cart.
It's going by so fast and I love him so much.
Friday, July 06, 2007
WHY?
Guess who's favorite word is Why? This is not my favorite stage...to say the least. When will it end?
Monday, June 25, 2007
Insomniac...
I don't know what is going on in my house, but no one is sleeping...including Sherman. The fact that Ivan goes in "sleep phases" is nothing new, but this total wacko sleep cycle (if you can even call it a cycle) is baffling me completely. Here is what's been going on here lately:
First we moved to a our new house about three weeks ago. Ivan hasn't seemed to skip a beat since the move...everything has been normal until very recently.
We have been semi-intensely working on Potty Training the last two weeks. By semi-intensely I mean we talk about using the potty ALL the time, Ivan sits on the potty several times throughout the day, he has pee peed in the potty on some occasions and he has worn his "big boy pants" a few times with only one accident (and it was a huge mess - thankfully on the kitchen floor and no where else).
To add to all that Ivan has finally bitten a hole into his final bah bah (pacifier). When we moved he had four bahs left and when he would hand me one that had been bitten through I would inform him that when he bit through the last one, there would be no more. The other night he handed me the final bah (with a tiny hole bitten through the tip) and said "No!". Ivan has only been using his bah bahs at nap and night night for about a year and half now, but they are somewhat of a security item for him so we will see how the "loss" of them affects him and his sleep.
Funny, when I write all of this out it seems somewhat obvious why he hasn't been sleeping too well. The little guy's world is changing so fast.
*****Edited to add*****
J put Ivan to bed last night at 7:15 and we never heard a peep. J put me to bed at 9:45 and never heard a peep. It is currently 7:50 AM Tuesday morning and Ivan is still asleep...hopefully this will put him back on track and the rest of us as well. We shall see!
First we moved to a our new house about three weeks ago. Ivan hasn't seemed to skip a beat since the move...everything has been normal until very recently.
We have been semi-intensely working on Potty Training the last two weeks. By semi-intensely I mean we talk about using the potty ALL the time, Ivan sits on the potty several times throughout the day, he has pee peed in the potty on some occasions and he has worn his "big boy pants" a few times with only one accident (and it was a huge mess - thankfully on the kitchen floor and no where else).
To add to all that Ivan has finally bitten a hole into his final bah bah (pacifier). When we moved he had four bahs left and when he would hand me one that had been bitten through I would inform him that when he bit through the last one, there would be no more. The other night he handed me the final bah (with a tiny hole bitten through the tip) and said "No!". Ivan has only been using his bah bahs at nap and night night for about a year and half now, but they are somewhat of a security item for him so we will see how the "loss" of them affects him and his sleep.
Funny, when I write all of this out it seems somewhat obvious why he hasn't been sleeping too well. The little guy's world is changing so fast.
*****Edited to add*****
J put Ivan to bed last night at 7:15 and we never heard a peep. J put me to bed at 9:45 and never heard a peep. It is currently 7:50 AM Tuesday morning and Ivan is still asleep...hopefully this will put him back on track and the rest of us as well. We shall see!
Sunday, June 03, 2007
Homesick...
Last night as J and I gratefully fell into our bed I was totally overcome with emotion. I love our new house and the location can't be beat, but I was feeling homesick. I wasn't pinning away for our old house as much as I was tired of not knowing where anything is. Every time I go to look for something, I have to think about it. Is it in a box? Is it put away in it's new place? If so, where is that place? I was just tired of it all and so I fell asleep crying and missing the familiarity that comes from living in a place for 9 years.
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