Knots in my stomach...

We've been potty training intensely for three and half days now. Ivan is doing great. Mom, however, is all tied up in knots. I never thought that the "wanting your child to succeed"stress would occur so early-on. I thought that this type of ulcer-causing stress came later when you watched them start High School or College or Med. School or whatever, but not potty training!

In short I am a mess.



This morning we had our first outing with big boy pants on. Ivan desperately needed a haircut and Liz (my stylist that cuts his hair too) was on vacation all last week so she squeezed us in this morning at 10:45. I thought of little else all day yesterday, trying to plan for success. When Ivan woke-up this morning he had his usual glass of milk (strawberry and chocolate please) and a yogurt bar for breakfast. The plan was to keep all other liquids away from him until we were safely home again. Well, we went to brush our teeth at 10 and before I even realized it Ivan was downing his "rinse water". It didn't even register with me that he was drinking until he was almost finished. The already existing knot in my stomach began to grow. Then the doubt crept in..."Should I put him in a diaper, should I put the rubber training pants on him, should I cancel the appointment all together?" Then sanity knocked on the door and I chilled out a little bit. I decided that the only way that he was ever going to learn what to do was to do it...so we had a potty time before we left the house and again when we got to Liz's. He produced results on both occasions much to my relief. When the haircut was over his pants were dry and all was well with the world.

But wait there's more!





Ivan really dislikes getting his haircut. He loves Liz, but doesn't like anyone messing with his hair (except Mom). Since I know that I would butcher it, he must suffer and sit in Liz's chair. Since he dislikes it so much he can make it rather difficult to cut. To avoid this I promised him a special surprise this morning if he sat still for Miss Liz. I had to pull that one out several times while we were there, but in the end it worked and Ivan got a great haircut. As Liz was snipping along she asked me what the surprise was. I was panicked. I hadn't thought of anything yet, I was flying by the seat of my pants on this one and now I was busted! I blurted out that we were going to McDonald's for lunch and a little play land time. What? What did I just say? As though I wasn't already sweating our outing enough I had extended it! Had I lost my mind? In short, yes I had. Unfortunately, Ivan was all ears and immediately started saying "McDonald's Mommy?" meaning "Are we going to cheeseburger heaven, Mommy?" What was I to do? I couldn't let my little one down. I had said it and so it was to be. Despite the knot in my stomach which was beginning to feel like a boulder, we drove to the house of cheeseburgers and had two more successful potty times. Ivan ate his lunch and played on the indoor play equipment for awhile, until Mom could take no more of it.

We drove straight home and as we did so I could feel the knot unraveling inside my stomach. A huge smile of relief crossed my face as we entered the house. Ivan had done it. He had gone out in big boy pants and had kept them clean and dry the entire time.

One knot creating incident down, 3 million to go!

It Feels Like Home...

Before we moved to our new home my sister shared a warning with me. She advised me not to be surprised if the new house did not feel like home for a while. She admitted that it took her almost two years to really consider their new house their home. She said that with your fist house it is just that, your first house. It takes little to no time to consider it your own. However, the second house seems to take awhile to "break-in". I appreciated the advice and really started to prepare myself for that feeling of I live here, but it isn't home yet.

I am thrilled to say though that nothing could be further from the truth for me! This house has felt like home from the day we moved in...literally It is remarkable but both J and I feel this way about the house. There is work to be done but it just feels right. That is not to say that our old house did not feel like home, it did...but it was J and C's home, not the house we plan to raise Ivan (and maybe some day another one) in.

I am attributing this instant comfort to the fact that this was the house that God had set aside for us all along. Despite my insistence (at the time) that the other house we bid on first was the right house. J was never as comfortable with the other house, but I was CERTAIN that it was the one for us. In truth, I was seduced by all of the wrong things and God knew it and spared us from making that mistake. He hardened the hearts of the seller's to our offers because He knew where we were supposed to be...I just wouldn't listen.

Thank you Lord for sparing me from my own short-sightedness. Thank you Lord for putting us right where we need to be.

Talking on the phone...

Yet another sign pointing to how quickly Ivan is growing-up before my very eyes.

Ivan has long enjoyed listening to others talk to him on the phone. He would, on occasion, use his play phone to call someone, usually Nana. However, when he was on the phone he would rarely interact with the person on the other end of the phone. Over the past several months he has enjoyed calling his Daddy at work and saying on cue "Hey Daddy!" but that was about all he would say while J talked to him and engaged him in "conversation". All of that has dramatically changed recently.

Now, Ivan calls lots of people on his phone and yaks at them. When someone wants to talk to him on the real phone he answers their questions to the best of his ability and even closes with "Bye, Bye." at the end of the conversation. I experienced this first hand the other day and it was so wonderful. Our conversation went something like this:

Mom: Hi Ivan.

Ivan: Hey Mommy.

M: What are you doing at P W's?

I: Wholey Polly. (He was is search of more Roley Polly Bugs)

M: Are you having fun?

I: Uh-huh.

M: I love you, Ivan.

I: I love you, Mommy.

M: Bye, Bye Ivan. I'll see you soon.

I: Bye, Bye Mommy.

And with that he handed the phone back to my Dad. That was my first real phone "conversation" with Ivan. It's going by at lightening speed.

Driving around in my automobile...

I know that some people really dislike the carts at the grocery store with the little car in the front (there are no TV's in them where we shop - thank goodness) but I think that they are kind of cute. I have offered a ride in one to Ivan on a few different occasions and have always been met with a "No, please." He says please instead of thank you - we're working on that one but I feel that a misplaced please is better than none at all. Anyway, today we were at our local warehouse club when Ivan spotted a cart with a car on the front waiting in the cart coral. He dove into the little car and immediately buckled himself into the seat. He was thoroughly delighted throughout our shopping trip with his new seat and I was just as delighted to watch him "steer" the cart and honk the horn (sometimes both horns) from the back of the cart.

As I sit here writing this it is hitting me...he is growing-up so fast. The last time that I offered for him to sit in the car cart he said "No, please. Up, please". He wanted to be where he could see and interact with me. We do a lot of talking while we shop. I'm a talker what can I say? He is more secure now and really starting to embrace his Independence more and more. That's not to say that we didn't interact during our shopping trip, we did. However, it was limited and usually consisted of Ivan a) making sure I was still there and b) the two of us talking about his "driving" of the cart.

It's going by so fast and I love him so much.

WHY?

Guess who's favorite word is Why? This is not my favorite stage...to say the least. When will it end?

Insomniac...

I don't know what is going on in my house, but no one is sleeping...including Sherman. The fact that Ivan goes in "sleep phases" is nothing new, but this total wacko sleep cycle (if you can even call it a cycle) is baffling me completely. Here is what's been going on here lately:


First we moved to a our new house about three weeks ago. Ivan hasn't seemed to skip a beat since the move...everything has been normal until very recently.


We have been semi-intensely working on Potty Training the last two weeks. By semi-intensely I mean we talk about using the potty ALL the time, Ivan sits on the potty several times throughout the day, he has pee peed in the potty on some occasions and he has worn his "big boy pants" a few times with only one accident (and it was a huge mess - thankfully on the kitchen floor and no where else).


To add to all that Ivan has finally bitten a hole into his final bah bah (pacifier). When we moved he had four bahs left and when he would hand me one that had been bitten through I would inform him that when he bit through the last one, there would be no more. The other night he handed me the final bah (with a tiny hole bitten through the tip) and said "No!". Ivan has only been using his bah bahs at nap and night night for about a year and half now, but they are somewhat of a security item for him so we will see how the "loss" of them affects him and his sleep.

Funny, when I write all of this out it seems somewhat obvious why he hasn't been sleeping too well. The little guy's world is changing so fast.

*****Edited to add*****
J put Ivan to bed last night at 7:15 and we never heard a peep. J put me to bed at 9:45 and never heard a peep. It is currently 7:50 AM Tuesday morning and Ivan is still asleep...hopefully this will put him back on track and the rest of us as well. We shall see!

Homesick...

Last night as J and I gratefully fell into our bed I was totally overcome with emotion. I love our new house and the location can't be beat, but I was feeling homesick. I wasn't pinning away for our old house as much as I was tired of not knowing where anything is. Every time I go to look for something, I have to think about it. Is it in a box? Is it put away in it's new place? If so, where is that place? I was just tired of it all and so I fell asleep crying and missing the familiarity that comes from living in a place for 9 years.

He Even Says It In His Sleep...

A few months ago I wrote about Ivan's favorite new word. Last night I woke-up around midnight and heard Ivan mumbling through the monitor. Quickly his mumbling ceased and I heard a resolute "No, Mommy!" I laid there and chuckled to myself...he even tells me no in his dreams!

He's such a little character.

One week to go...

We are moving to our new house in just over a week. I have been trying to prepare Ivan for the move, but at the same time I don't want to stress him out over it either. We have brochures for our current home and our new home and we look at them often. I talk to him about his new room and his new "train room" aka play room.

More later...

A Nickel and Dime and a Ben Franklin or two!

I really don't want to poor mouth here and I know that as long as we continue to give to the Lord with a giving heart He will make it all work out. However, this move is getting expensive! It isn't any one thing but all of the little things that are adding up and fast.

OK, well there is one big thing...the cost of the movers. Woowee are they going to cost an arm and a leg! We have some extremely large pieces that we will need to move and there is no way that we can do that ourselves, so we have to hire movers for those pieces. Their hourly rate is hefty enough, but throw in the "travel charge" and the gratuity that will be expected and boy howdy does it all add up! Plus we were thinking that we would move out on one day and move in on the next, but that just won't be possible. One company quoted me an overnight fee of $500 and the other $625. That is almost as much as we are going to have to pay for their actual service time.

Then there are the "nominal" charges that the phone company, cable company and power company will charge us to reconnect to their service at our new location. Never mind that we have been customers for almost 10 years and that we are just transferring the service to a new address.

Ahhh! It is all so maddening. I am beginning to understand why all of my friends say that they will never move again.

We Got It!!!!

Well, we got the second house that we bid on, but only after a very restless and sleepless night.

I am nervous about the move and the new house...it is just the way I am. However, I believe that this is the right house for our little family and that God had set it aside months ago for us but as always, we weren't ready yet.

Thank you Lord for putting us in the neighborhood that we really wanted to be in and for making it all work as only YOU can. We thought that this house was out of our reach, but you showed us the way Lord. Thank you.

Starting Over...

Well, after several back and forths we had to walk away from the house that we bid on - they just would not come down. I'm sad, but we are making a bid on another tonight, so we will see if this is the one that God has set aside for our little family.

On the move...

Well, God has blessed us again! Our house has sold!! Yahoo!! The only catch is that they need us out by the 30th of May. Oh my that is fast approaching.

We made an offer on a house tonight. If it all works out I will post more later. If not, back to the drawing board.

The Self Imposed Time Out…

Yesterday morning after our Kindermusik class we came home and started to prepare for lunch. I had everything all made and ready to hit the table so I asked Ivan to start washing his hands. He ignored me, so I went on into the bathroom and started to let the water run for a minute to help get it warm enough for hand washing. I called to him again and heard a very defiant "No!" come from his room. I waited a minute and tried again. I headed to his room to inform him that he would be heading towards time out when I heard a noise coming from the kitchen. I heard Ivan’s chair scraping across the floor. Sure enough, there he sat in the time out spot.

After his time in the chair I asked him if he was ready to wash his hands and he said that he was and off we went.

Life Happens...

There is no truer statement at this time in my life than that one. Our life here has been happening at a frantic pace for the past four and a half months, but especially the past two weeks. Our house went on the market April 2 and we have had 18 showings in 16 days. That is a lot of out of the house time for Ivan Sherman and me. J too but he was out of town last week on business and he is at work during the day - so not as much as the three of us. We have spent far too many hours in the car lately and frankly I am already tired of the whole process. I am fairly certain that our "bubble of interest" has passed and that the number of showings will decrease moving forward, but who knows.

I will just be happy to get a decent offer and accept and move on to looking for our next house...which will be no small task.I am thankful for the blessing of lots of showings, but ready to have an offer as well. I am so impatient. I know in my heart that God has the right buyers picked out for our house and that He has the right house set aside somewhere for us as well. It's just hard waiting on His timing when the whole world works on it's own timetable.

The other night at dinner J made one heck of a good point in favor of God's timing and plans verses ours though; he pointed at Ivan and said that had things gone the way WE wanted them to we wouldn't have Ivan. So true. God was right on then and He will be right on again. I just have to wait and be patient.

I must remember the words to my favorite hymn: Trust and obey, for there's no other way to be happy in Jesus but to trust and obey.

I wonder what she is feeling today...

I am certain that there will never be a March 18th that passes without Ivan's birthmother thinking about her baby boy. She relinquished him at the maternity hospital in Ust-Kamenogorsk and never visited him while he was in the orphanage. I've always thought about her choice in a very positive way. I've always hoped that she relinquished her rights and never visited him so that he would be eligible for adoption that much sooner. She was young when she gave birth to Ivan and perhaps she had wisdom beyond her years. I've always wanted to believe that anyway. The truth is though, I don’t know. I don’t know if she relinquished her rights willingly or if a family member strongly encouraged her to do so.

There are so many things that I would like to know about who she is and how she came to make the decision about her baby boy. If I am wondering these things then I can only imagine how much more Ivan may want answers to these questions someday.

Anyway, I pray that she knows how loved he is and how grateful we are that she chose life.

Happy Third Birthday Ivan!

Lessons with PB&J

Last Thursday Ivan and I went shopping at our local warehouse club. As we cruised up and down the isles we talked about the different items that we were buying that day. I picked-up a large package of peanut butter and jelly to donate to our local food pantry. Ivan immediately said, Ivan? I told him no that we were buying this pb&j for those who could not afford their own. He looked at me and again said Ivan? So I told him that we were buying it to share with others and he seemed satisfied.

When we got home and I put the pb&j in the dinning room, a place that guaranteed that I would not forget it on Sunday morning, Ivan again asked if it was for him. I explained again that we had bought this for others. He started to cry and say that he wanted it. I took him into our pantry and showed him our identical jars of pb&j and said that these were for Ivan anytime he wanted them. That made everything better and off we went.

Sunday morning we walked into the Narthex at church and J took the pb&j over to the baskets were we put our donations to the food pantry. Ivan runs after him and says "Mommy!" and begins to sign the share sign.

How cool is that? He remembered from Thursday morning that we were going to "share" the pb&j with others. It reminded me that he is always listening and learning.

Homemaking Meme

I saw this over at Arwen's and loved it...so here it is!

Aprons (Y/N): No, never. Although I probably should…that or a bib!

Baking (Favorite thing to bake): This is tough. I LOVE to bake. I can’t narrow it down really. I love to bake the old standby chocolate chip cookies, brownies (from scratch is my favorite), lemon squares, cheesecake, cupcakes, you name it and if it is baking I like it!

Clothesline (Y/N): No, although I do use two drying wracks in the bathroom.

Donuts: Love them… hot and fresh is the only way to go though.

Every Day (One homemaking thing you do every day): Make the bed and unload the dishwasher…every single day.

Freezer (Do you have a separate deep freeze?): Yes, and it is slam full

Garbage Disposal (Y/N): Sadly, no. We have a septic tank so you are not supposed to have one.

Handbook (What is your favorite homemaking resource?): Hmmm. That is a good one. I like Martha Stewart.com, Real Simple Magazine and Southern Living a lot.

Ironing (Love it or hate it?): Hate it. In fact, I dislike it so much that I now (even on a budget) send Joe’s shirts to the cleaners. Fortunately I have found a bargain cleaners.

Junk drawer (Y/N) (Where?): Who doesn’t? In the kitchen of course!

Kitchen (Design and decorating): We have a great kitchen. Tons of cabinet space (which we will never be able to find in our next house I’m afraid) We put a border up on the two end walls (peaches, pears, plums and grapes with a yellow background) and we tiled the back-splash a few years ago using white tiles with some accent tiles with fruit on them. It looks much better than it sounds.

Love (What is your favorite part of homemaking?): When my house is all clean and straight…I love it. Unfortunately, once I get behind the eight ball so to speak, I am not very good at getting back in front of it for a while anyway.

Mop (Y/N): Yes, occasionally. I would not say that I am a frequent mopper…just when the floors really need it.

Nylons: I am with the others on this one…what are they asking me? If it is whether I wear them while cleaning that would be…uhhh no.

Oven (Do you use the window or open the door to check?): Much to my husbands chagrin, I open the door constantly.

Pizza (What do you put on yours?): If it is homemade then it is no sauce, pepperoni, sausage, mushrooms, and chopped kalamata olives…yummy!

Quiet (What do you do during the day when you get a quiet moment?): These are rare with a 35 month old little boy at home, however, when he naps (which is getting more and more rare) I enjoy reading, journalizing, and surfing the net in general.

Recipe card box (Y/N): Yes. This was one of the greatest gifts that my mother has EVER given me. The Christmas before I was engaged and later married she put all of her greatest recopies on typed index cards. My mom is a kick butt cook, so this was 30+ years of cooking genius in one box. Too cool for a soon to be married lady. I also enjoy recipes from magazines and foodnetwork. I am always open to trying new recipes…it is like a mini adventure!

Style of house: We have a ranch with a two-car garage in the basement. It is a cute house with a nice sized lot, unfortunately the lot is slope

d and not too great for a growing boy to play in…hence one of the reasons we are moving.Tablecloths and napkins? Tablecloth always and paper napkins most days. When we have a formal gathering at our house and I pull out the crystal, fine china and silver, I use cloth napkins.

Under the kitchen sink (Organized or toxic wasteland?): Is an organized toxic wasteland too much of an oxymoron?

Vacuum (How many times per week?): I used to be a once a week vacuumer, now I am once every other week or so…there is no time to get this done with Ivan around

Wash (How many loads of laundry do you do in a week: I am not sure that I can count that high anymore. Pre-Ivan I would do laundry on Saturday and Sunday’s…now it is at least a load a day.

X's (Do you keep a daily list of things to do and cross them off? When I do I am so much more accomplished, but usually I am not organized enough to get one made for the day/week.

Yard (Who does what?): J and I have a deal…he takes care of the outside, and I take care of the inside.

Zzz's: It depends on how Ivan is sleeping that night. Some nights are good and some are terrible.
This was fun. If anyone fills it out on their blog let me know so that I can go and read yours too!

That's Just God...

I have found myself saying that a lot lately. There are some things in life that just can’t be explained any other way. Here are some that I have been reflecting on lately:

1) J and I meeting. We went to two different colleges. His was in the mountains and mine was two hours away in Charlotte. The only reason that I was even there the weekend we met was because my two best friends attended the same college. Furthermore, J had been offered (he says tempted) a Teaching Fellows Scholarship (AKA a full ride) to attend a different university at the eleventh hour in 1991. J put himself through college, so this was a huge deal to turn down.

2) Our adoption of Ivan. Our paperwork was in a whole different country for crying out loud! However, God knew where He wanted us to be and more importantly where our son was. My Dad has always struggled with the fact that Ivan was 15 months old when we met him. He just can't get his head around why he hadn't been adopted yet (My Dad is a little biased perhaps, however, he was and is a really cute little boy). Whenever this comes up (and it is infrequent now that we have been home for 19 months) I just look at him and say "That's just God, Daddy."

3) Ivan himself. He's the greatest blessing that we have ever received and he is loved beyond words. God placed this child in our life for a reason. I think that I know some of the reasons, but I am certain that as we move forward together as a family God will reveal even more to me.

I know that there are many other things that have been TJG moments in my life. As I continue to reflect on them I hope to revisit this journal entry and add to it.

On the contrary mom...

So we have finally hit it, the no stage. Every, and I do mean EVERY, single yes/no question that is posed to Ivan is met with a resounding NO! When it is in fact something he wants and I begin to act on the no, he quickly changes his tune and we move forward accordingly.

I know that this is only a phase and no gives him a lot more power than yes ever could. However, there are times that I would just love to hear a resolute YES, just for a change of pace.