Today my sister and I returned to our old office to show off our new kids. C's second child is now 3 months and she wanted her old team to meet the new addition. I of course wanted my team to meet Ivan. It was strange thinking that they all knew about and were praying for Ivan before we had even met him.
C arrived at 9:30 to meet with her former boss for a few minutes and then I arrived at 10 to start making the rounds together. What a contrast we had going on. C's little girl was content to lay in her infant carrier and coo. Ivan wanted out of the stroller as soon as we stopped moving. He was cruising up and down the halls having a grand old time checking out people's cubicals. Everyone was excited to see the kids, and us. Folks were very taken with Ivan's unique coloring and eye shape. He is very blonde and fair, but has dark, slightly almond shaped eyes. He really is a striking looking child (if I do say so myself).
Most everyone was so excited to finally meet this little blessing that J and I have received. I was more than happy to oblige them and show him off. He was wonderful the whole time. My sister and I only planned to stay an hour and half, but it turned into two and a half rather quickly. We did not get back to our cars until 12:45! Ivan was starving despite the bottle of formula that he had at 11:30, but he did not get cranky or let anyone but Mommy know. He was a little clingy there at the end which let me know he was getting run down. C and I went to a little pizza place and had lunch. Ivan ate everything I gave him and then passed out in the car on the way home.
I couldn't help but beam about him the whole time. He is such a sweet little soul.
Wednesday, September 21, 2005
Monday, September 19, 2005
The Way We Were...
Last night J and I had our first official "date night" since we took custody of Ivan on July 20. When we started the adoption process in August 2004 we purchased season tickets for our local theatre thinking that we would have 4 guaranteed "date nights" starting in February 2005. Little did we know that we would only get to use one of those nights after Ivan came home. When we started the adoption process, things were going very smoothly and we thought that we would be home sometime in February, March at the latest.
J had to go into the office yesterday afternoon so we just met at my parents house after Ivan's afternoon nap. My parents had been chomping at the bit since we got home to have Ivan all to themselves for an evening and this was their chance. We are so blessed to have free babysitters within a 30 minute drive.
J and I decided to go to a new restaurant in town. We arrived on the early side since our play started at 7. We were seated at a nice little table and immediately began to peruse the menu. We slipped into our usual easy conversation style and just lost ourselves in the ease of dining out without a toddler for a few minutes. Then the waitress brought our wine out and we toasted to "glimpses of our old life".
As we walked down the street towards the auditorium where the play was to be held, I looked down and noticed that we were holding hands just like we always did in our "old life". I looked over at J and said "Wow, I have missed this." I realized at that moment that we have hardly held hands since we got home at the end of July. When we go out for our evening walks one of us is pushing the stroller and the other is holding Sherman's leash. We just don't have enough hands at the moment.
I miss little things like that with J...just holding hands. However, I know that all too quickly we will have free hands again. After almost 9 years of marriage as "just the two of us" we are having to get used to little changes like this. Most of the time it is just fine and I don't really think about "the way things used to be", but sometimes I miss it.
J and I are still husband and wife and not just Mom and Dad. However, there are times when you are just Mom and Dad and rarely times when you are just husband and wife anymore. During those husband and wife times, in the back of your mind you are still Mom and Dad. That's just the reality of it, at least for us.
I think that is why it hit me so last night when we were holding hands walking down the street last night, that used to be the way we always walked...holding hands. However, now things have changed and holding hands is a bit of a treat.
We have only just begun our journey into parenthood and I know that throughout the journey many things will change over the years. J and I will just have to keep having our date nights and enjoying our precious time alone. Then one day, before I know what has happened, Ivan will be off at college and we will have time together like we did before we were blessed with Ivan. Then I will long for him to be home more often and to drop in for dinner anytime.
I guess that once you become parents, you never really go back to the way things were...and that's ok with me. I really love our new life together and I am looking forward to the rest of the journey.
J had to go into the office yesterday afternoon so we just met at my parents house after Ivan's afternoon nap. My parents had been chomping at the bit since we got home to have Ivan all to themselves for an evening and this was their chance. We are so blessed to have free babysitters within a 30 minute drive.
J and I decided to go to a new restaurant in town. We arrived on the early side since our play started at 7. We were seated at a nice little table and immediately began to peruse the menu. We slipped into our usual easy conversation style and just lost ourselves in the ease of dining out without a toddler for a few minutes. Then the waitress brought our wine out and we toasted to "glimpses of our old life".
As we walked down the street towards the auditorium where the play was to be held, I looked down and noticed that we were holding hands just like we always did in our "old life". I looked over at J and said "Wow, I have missed this." I realized at that moment that we have hardly held hands since we got home at the end of July. When we go out for our evening walks one of us is pushing the stroller and the other is holding Sherman's leash. We just don't have enough hands at the moment.
I miss little things like that with J...just holding hands. However, I know that all too quickly we will have free hands again. After almost 9 years of marriage as "just the two of us" we are having to get used to little changes like this. Most of the time it is just fine and I don't really think about "the way things used to be", but sometimes I miss it.
J and I are still husband and wife and not just Mom and Dad. However, there are times when you are just Mom and Dad and rarely times when you are just husband and wife anymore. During those husband and wife times, in the back of your mind you are still Mom and Dad. That's just the reality of it, at least for us.
I think that is why it hit me so last night when we were holding hands walking down the street last night, that used to be the way we always walked...holding hands. However, now things have changed and holding hands is a bit of a treat.
We have only just begun our journey into parenthood and I know that throughout the journey many things will change over the years. J and I will just have to keep having our date nights and enjoying our precious time alone. Then one day, before I know what has happened, Ivan will be off at college and we will have time together like we did before we were blessed with Ivan. Then I will long for him to be home more often and to drop in for dinner anytime.
I guess that once you become parents, you never really go back to the way things were...and that's ok with me. I really love our new life together and I am looking forward to the rest of the journey.
Saturday, September 17, 2005
Gymboree and all that jazz...
Tuesday Ivan and I attended our first Gymboree music class. I went in a little nervous and shy but surfaced on the other side unscathed and happy. Ivan entered the class a little groggy (he napped in the car on the way there - a 45 minute ride) and exited smiles and giggles. We both really had a good time and will be enjoying our class every Tuesday until mid December.
I think that one of the reasons that I was so nervous about the class is that sometimes I feel like a fraud. I worry that others will see that we have only known each other for a short while and that somehow they will think that our relationship is not "real" or "deep enough". I never worry about this type of thing at home...I know that our relationship is real and deepening every day, but send me out in public and I worry that others will know that I am a new Mom.
It's so ridiculous, I know. Who cares what anyone else knows or thinks that they know. Who cares what they think? I know, I know. However, in the world of Mom's I want to fit in. I can't talk about birth or pregnancy or even Ivan's infancy. I can only discuss the past 2 wonderful months. Sometimes, that leaves me a little short on conversation.
Thankfully at Gymboree it is mostly about you and your baby playing together. After we had finished our class, I reflected on my concerns and realized how silly they truly were. I am Ivan's Mom. The length of time that I have been his Mom is irrelevant. I am the one he looks to for love and care and that is all that matters.
I think that one of the reasons that I was so nervous about the class is that sometimes I feel like a fraud. I worry that others will see that we have only known each other for a short while and that somehow they will think that our relationship is not "real" or "deep enough". I never worry about this type of thing at home...I know that our relationship is real and deepening every day, but send me out in public and I worry that others will know that I am a new Mom.
It's so ridiculous, I know. Who cares what anyone else knows or thinks that they know. Who cares what they think? I know, I know. However, in the world of Mom's I want to fit in. I can't talk about birth or pregnancy or even Ivan's infancy. I can only discuss the past 2 wonderful months. Sometimes, that leaves me a little short on conversation.
Thankfully at Gymboree it is mostly about you and your baby playing together. After we had finished our class, I reflected on my concerns and realized how silly they truly were. I am Ivan's Mom. The length of time that I have been his Mom is irrelevant. I am the one he looks to for love and care and that is all that matters.
Friday, September 09, 2005
Bah Bah Woes
Ivan was weaned from a pacifier at 12 months at the orphanage. Due to the number of children in each group the caregiver's need for the children to be as self-sufficient as possible as early as possible. The kids are weaned from the bottle and the pacifier at 12 months, no exceptions.
Well, J and I knew that we had a twenty hour plane ride ahead of us with Ivan, and that we ALL needed him to have a pacifier (also known as a bah bah in our house). So, after a couple of days with J "reminding" Ivan how to use the bah bah, he was hooked once again. It was wonderful on the plane accept the one time we lost one and all of the lights were out. Ivan screamed at the top of his lungs until I could pull the spare from the diaper bag that was buried under the seat in front of me. Once it was in his mouth, all was right with the world and he drifted off to sleep once more. In fact, Ivan slept almost the entire way home, including the 7 hour layover in Frankfurt. It was a total blessing.
Ivan is still using the bah bah at naptime and bedtime, which is just fine with his Mom and Dad, with one exception. When he loses it in the middle of the night, he stands up in his crib and screams until someone (read Mom) gets one back into his mouth. Other than that, he sleeps like an angel.
For the past several nights J and I have been putting multiple bah bah's in Ivan's crib and making a point to show him where they are located before we leave the room. It has not done one bit of good so far. Last night I put all four bah's into the crib with him and tried to get him to put one in his mouth, instead of me doing it for him before he got into the bed. I know that he knows how to do it, he does it in the car all the time. He would have none of it. I went back in several times and even put one in his hand. No good. He worked himself into such a state that after an hour of wrestling with it, I went in and put the dang bah bah in and sat on the floor until he finally drifted off to sleep.
When we were in Almaty waiting for our Embassy appointment, J was watching him sleep one evening and saw him lose and find the bah bah. This problem only started after we got home. At first I thought that he was waking due to the new environment etc while he was sleeping. However, as time passed and I did more reading and paid closer attention to what was going on at 1, 3 and 5 AM when I was in the room with him, I noticed that once that the bah bah was back in his mouth, he was fine and went right back to sleep.
I've asked several experienced Mom's about this issue and almost all of them laugh and say oh yes, I remember that. Most just had multiple bah bah's in the crib, some even used the little clips, so that the bah bah was always attached to their little one. However, after last nights drama, that doesn't solve what seems to be our problem. Based on last night (and yes I know that one night does not tell the whole tale) Ivan is refusing to take the bah bah himself, when it is time to sleep.
I know that it is selfish to want to solve this problem because I am tired of getting up at 1, 3 and 5 in the morning almost every day. However, I am always willing to get up when there is a dirty diaper, or a bad dream, or some such involved. Unfortunately, getting up because he can't or won't find his own bah bah is just making me cranky.
Well, J and I knew that we had a twenty hour plane ride ahead of us with Ivan, and that we ALL needed him to have a pacifier (also known as a bah bah in our house). So, after a couple of days with J "reminding" Ivan how to use the bah bah, he was hooked once again. It was wonderful on the plane accept the one time we lost one and all of the lights were out. Ivan screamed at the top of his lungs until I could pull the spare from the diaper bag that was buried under the seat in front of me. Once it was in his mouth, all was right with the world and he drifted off to sleep once more. In fact, Ivan slept almost the entire way home, including the 7 hour layover in Frankfurt. It was a total blessing.
Ivan is still using the bah bah at naptime and bedtime, which is just fine with his Mom and Dad, with one exception. When he loses it in the middle of the night, he stands up in his crib and screams until someone (read Mom) gets one back into his mouth. Other than that, he sleeps like an angel.
For the past several nights J and I have been putting multiple bah bah's in Ivan's crib and making a point to show him where they are located before we leave the room. It has not done one bit of good so far. Last night I put all four bah's into the crib with him and tried to get him to put one in his mouth, instead of me doing it for him before he got into the bed. I know that he knows how to do it, he does it in the car all the time. He would have none of it. I went back in several times and even put one in his hand. No good. He worked himself into such a state that after an hour of wrestling with it, I went in and put the dang bah bah in and sat on the floor until he finally drifted off to sleep.
When we were in Almaty waiting for our Embassy appointment, J was watching him sleep one evening and saw him lose and find the bah bah. This problem only started after we got home. At first I thought that he was waking due to the new environment etc while he was sleeping. However, as time passed and I did more reading and paid closer attention to what was going on at 1, 3 and 5 AM when I was in the room with him, I noticed that once that the bah bah was back in his mouth, he was fine and went right back to sleep.
I've asked several experienced Mom's about this issue and almost all of them laugh and say oh yes, I remember that. Most just had multiple bah bah's in the crib, some even used the little clips, so that the bah bah was always attached to their little one. However, after last nights drama, that doesn't solve what seems to be our problem. Based on last night (and yes I know that one night does not tell the whole tale) Ivan is refusing to take the bah bah himself, when it is time to sleep.
I know that it is selfish to want to solve this problem because I am tired of getting up at 1, 3 and 5 in the morning almost every day. However, I am always willing to get up when there is a dirty diaper, or a bad dream, or some such involved. Unfortunately, getting up because he can't or won't find his own bah bah is just making me cranky.
Thursday, September 08, 2005
The Next Phase of Life...
We returned from Kazakhstan 6 weeks ago with our son, Ivan. He is currently 17 months old and a total delight. I can scarcely remember life without him. All four of us seem to be adjusting fairly well to all of the changes with a few minor exceptions. Our little family consists of me, C, my husband J, our son Ivan and our other son, a Jack Russell Terrier, Sherman.
I had another journal called "Determined To Get There" (determined2getthere@blogspot.com)
that helped me to stay sane while we were in the process of adopting Ivan. However, now we are home and no longer determined to get anywhere in particular. So, I felt that it was time for me to move my journal to a new home with a new title and here it is.
I had another journal called "Determined To Get There" (determined2getthere@blogspot.com)
that helped me to stay sane while we were in the process of adopting Ivan. However, now we are home and no longer determined to get anywhere in particular. So, I felt that it was time for me to move my journal to a new home with a new title and here it is.
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